AUTHOR’S MESSAGE When I was first approached to write this book, my initial reaction was, “What can I write about that has not already been covered?” In my opinion, the topic of stress and its management has been in print over and over and over again by numerous authors; too many to count. Some of these books have become national best sellers, while others are just sitting on the shelf. But, never-the-less, they are out there and in print. While in conversation with my students, I was reminded of the many times I had repeated the same thing until it had finally registered with them. We spoke about the fact that 99 people may be making a statement about the same matter, yet it takes the 100th person speaking about that matter before the subject catches their attention and is digested and perceived. My students pointed out the many times I had stated that we all do not resonate with the same vibration and may reject from one what we accept from another; so, I agreed to write this book in hopes that I might be the 100th person for those of you who have experienced the 99 people before me. What I have to write about is not new. But then, the worlds of metaphysics and holistic practices are not new. They are as old as time. The New Age is the Old Age returning. Therefore, it stands to reason that there will be literature about these ancient realities in abundance. Yet, as old as they are and as widely covered in literature as these subjects may be, there is still a large populous of people who are only now discovering or beginning to accept and understand how to manage stress of body, mind and spirit with metaphysics, spiritual and holistic methods. Stress management of your body, mind and spirit has become a national topic. The news stands and bookstores are filled with topics focusing on the subject. Even so, there are people who either do not understand the benefits or can not comprehend the necessity for managing the stress they are experiencing. It is with these people in mind that I have chosen to write this book. I have combined pragmatic information with metaphysical, spiritual and holistic information with the intention of providing you with enough of an informative foundation in all areas to afford you the opportunity for a well balanced, stress-free existence. There is a lot of valuable information packed in this little book. My suggestion is that you read it more than once and use it as a reference when needed. Each time you open this book you may discover or comprehend something that you may have overlooked during your previous reading. Often times we recognize and absorb only when it is needed or when we are ready to accept the information before us. CHAPTER ONE Stress “Things in life are not good or bad, it is what you think they are.” William Shakespeare I focus on the topic of stress because I believe that it is at the core of most of your issues and diseases. If you can limit stress in your life through understanding, you will see a major reduction in other negatives. According to Webster’s Dictionary of the English Language, stress is “a state of bodily or mental tension, resulting from factors that tend to alter existent equilibrium.” So, what determines that state? If you stand ten people in a room and have the walls fall down around them, all ten are apt to give you a varied version of the same experience. Some will feel stressed and act frenzied, while others will be disturbed that it occurred and ponder on the reason it happened. Yet, others will look at those around them who are upset and frenzied and ask them, “What’s the big deal?” Stress is the result of a person’s interpretation of a situation, be it their environmental surroundings, emotional reactions or the demands and changes in the body. It is virtually impossible to eliminate exposure to every situation that has potential to cause you stress, but you can work on avoiding them to the best of your abilities. And, at those times when you can not avoid it and you are exposed to stress, you can change how you respond to the situation, therefore minimizing or actually neutralizing the impact it may have had on your emotional, spiritual or physical well being. Stress is an ongoing and never-ending part of your life, but it does not have to become your way of life! Just think about it; if you clean up your environment and make it as stress-free as possible, while you shift your way of thinking toward those unavoidable stressors, you can enjoy a more happy and healthy lifestyle. How unfortunate that so many people put the nurturing of their bodies, their minds and their spirits at the last of their list of priorities. Cleaning up the environment, be it a physical, emotional or mental clean up, is something many people just do not consider important. They are focused on the demands of day to day living, while ignoring the vital messages that their bodies are giving. A few years ago I owned and operated a stress management center and I found the amount of people who would stand at the door and laugh, stating that they needed stress management, but do nothing about it to be staggering. We were constantly having to educate from square one. The point that they were missing was that stress puts a real demand on their bodies every day; and how they deal with this stress will determine how effectively they perform their daily tasks; be those tasks emotional, physical or spiritual. The effects that stress can have on your total being is definitely not a joke to be laughed at and the sooner people recognize this, the sooner we will all enjoy a healthier and more stable lifestyle. Something that creates stress is called a “stressor”. It can be of a mental-emotional nature, a physical-biochemical nature or an environmental- biological nature. Your exposure to some or all of these stressors is common and sometimes unavoidable. Because of this, it is up to you ,the individual, to interpret these stressors in a manner that will give you an opportunity to respond in a minimizing or neutralizing way; thus avoiding any negative impact they could potentially have on you. You have an automatic biological response to stress that has been with mankind since his beginning. It is most commonly referred to as your fight or flight response. All creatures possess the fight or fight response and there has always been a viable purpose for it through history. It has proven to be a lifesaver in more than one occasion. Sometimes the responses your body had to stress by way of the flight or fight syndrome go unrecognized as such. The best known responses are the shifting and changing of the normal functioning of your respiratory system, cardiovascular system, metabolic system and your hormone levels. You could also experience changes in your enzymes, GI functioning and urinary system. Although these shifts and changes were important back when man was fleeing from predators when fighting for survival, today these very same alterations in your body that are induced by stressors can hurt you instead of help you. It is unfortunate, but your body can not differentiate between a harmful and a non-harmful stressor, therefore it is up to your mind to do the differentiating and then trigger the response of your body. This is where the problem appears. Too many people today are not recognizing a stressor and therefore do not direct their body in the proper response. This ignorance is causing them to unwittingly be destroyed by the very same bodily functions that were intended to save their life! Although many stressors are real, there are just as many (if not more) that are perceived. When your body senses a stressor (real or perceived) it will respond automatically by preparing and mobilizing for a physical conflict or a sudden retreat from that stressor or situation. Your hormones will surge and your nervous system prepares for either the fight or the flight. Your heart rate increases and your breathing speeds up; which allows more oxygen into your body. Your muscles are made ready for action and your blood pressure surges as your blood rushes to them. When your body’s metabolic rate shifts into high gear in this manner, you are experiencing Oxidative Stress. When Oxidative Stress occurs, your digestion is temporarily placed on hold and your blood clotting mechanisms are activated to allow your body to focus on the task at hand. Now, in a real physical threat this would be wonderful! But what if the threat is not physical? What if the threat is something with an emotional base such as traffic jams or conflicts at work or arguments with your loved ones, etc.? It is important that you understand how life threatening a steady and constant exposure to this type of stress can be or, at the very least, the years it can take from your life. Prolonged and repeated emotional-mental stress can produce the same physical responses as physical stress and can contribute to one or more of the following: cardiovascular disease, gastro-intestinal dysfunction, immune deficiency, reproductive difficulty, sleep and memory loss and premature aging. And this is just to name a few! But here is the good news; you are in control! By this I mean that you have the power to determine how stressed out you will allow yourself to be in any given situation. Let me repeat that. YOU have the power to a determine how stress out you will allow yourself to be in any given situation. When you take control and determine not to allow a particular stressor to affect you, your heart rate and breathing will slow down, your blood pressure will lower, your muscles will relax and the metabolism of your body will normalize. So, why aren’t people just taking it easy and de-stressing? That is a good question. One of the main reasons, in my opinion, is that many people simply are not aware of the stressors in their lives or possibly are aware that they are there, but are not fully knowledgeable of the harmful effects these stressors can potentially have. I have listed a few here. See how many you perceived as genuinely hazardous to your health. 1] Cigarette smoke, including second hand smoke. 2] Excess fat intake 3] Excessive stress 4] Radiation and certain medications 5] Synthetic food additives 6] Asbestos and similar materials 7] Environmental pollutants in the air, food and water 8] Household cleansers 9] Pesticides 10] Charcoal smoke/barbecues 11] Plastics 12] Excessive exercise 13] Caffeine 14] Loud music 15] Telephones 16] Commuting to work Stress is a common denominator in many illnesses; from something as simple as a headache to a more serious disease (dis-ease) such as heart disease. When we study the physiological changes that are created during a stressful situation, it is easy to see the link between your mind, stress and the illness. Let’s take a moment to look at your heart’s response to various situation. It will pound when you experience anxiety, it will skip a beat when you are fearful and it sinks when you are disappointed. Everyone is aware, intuitively, of the relationship between the emotional stress of your body and the functioning of your heart. Although, from what I have learned, there is still some controversy amongst doctors as to the role mental stress plays on heart disease, I feel the evidence that your mind plays a role in the development of heart disease is growing. One possible reason for this deduction is that depressed or overly stressed people seem to be more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors such as smoking. (Did you know that smoking appears to be more prevalent with women?) Another reason is that depression or stress stimulates the sympathetic nerves, which in turn can increase your heart rate which causes your blood vessels to constrict and your blood pressure to elevate. Your speech behavioral pattern is a strong indication of whether or not you are experiencing excessive stress and hostility. Below are a few questions for you to ask yourself to help you determine if you are displaying excessive stress through hostility. Ask yourself these questions: 1] When you speak, is it in a loud, rapid and forceful manner? 2] Do you have a tendency to interrupt others when they are speaking so that you can give them input, or even change the subject matter? 3] When you do not agree with a person, are you force- ful or argumentative? 4] Do you tend to make critical, cynical or rude remarks to or about people or things? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, then your behavior is risking your health with high levels of hostility. Since hostility often goes unrecognized and untreated, I think we should look at it just a little more closely. The following is a self-test. Circle yes or no to answer each question: 1] Do you check out the baskets ahead of you when you are standing in a supermarket express checkout line, counting their items to be certain they have not exceeded the line limit? Yes No 2] If you discover the person in front of you has exceeded the checkout line limit, do you say something to them about it? Yes No 3] If a cashier gives you the wrong change, do you automatically get into a huff or assume it was done deliberately? Yes No 4] Do you dwell on things? Yes No 5] Do you get impatient waiting for elevators or press the buttons in them repeatedly with the intent of making the elevator move more quickly? Yes No 6] Do you allow life’s little daily frustrations to stay with you, accumulate and blend with the bigger ones? Yes No 7] Do you take your work home with you? Yes No 8] When someone keeps you waiting, do you greet him or her with criticism or angry words? Yes No 9] When your hair or nails are not done the way you want them to be, do you fuss and fume about it right on into the following day or days? (Yes, men worry about those things too!) Yes No 10] Does your pulse quicken or your jaw clench when you disagree or argue with someone? Yes No 11] Do you experience road rage? Yes No 12] If someone pulls in front of you in a drive-in line (I.E. bank or fast food restaurant) do you shout at them or honk your horn in disapproval? Yes No 13] When someone mistreats you, do you plan methods of getting back at him or her simply for principal? Yes No 14] When you find yourself unhappy with someone else, do you recall and/or bring up old hurts that they have inflicted upon you? Yes No If you answered yes to three or less, you are in pretty good shape. If you answered yes to four and up to eight, you are experiencing hostility that may lead to a serious illness. If you answered yes to nine or more, you are in what is referred to as the “hot zone”. This is a dangerous level of anger, cynicism and aggression that will increase the possibility of the destruction of your health and/or relationships. If you are at this level then suggest that you take the necessary steps to get the help you need to correct this situation. Allowing yourself to remain in a stressful situation for an extended period of time can not only break down your physical body, but it also has an effect on your emotional body. A panic attack is another symptom of some type of stress and can occur out of nowhere; sometimes lasting for several minutes before it subsides. If you don’t know how to recognize a panic attack, the symptoms are: chest pains, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, dizziness, sensations of choking or smothering, numbness or tingling and a sense of losing control and possibly a fear of dying. There is even a possibility of a temporary loss of conscious-ness. People who experience attacks of this nature tend to live in constant fear of the next one. What a horrendous cycle to be in! The world is seeing more and more single parent households today. As a result, we are noticing increased stress on the child as well as the parent. This stress not only affects them on a personal level, but it trickles out to the work place and school environments. Over-crowded day care facilities and school classrooms, plus latch key situations, are prime contributions. Not only do these conditions cause stress in themselves on the children and the teachers, but they can bring on a sense of guilt for the parent; which is also a form of stress. Speaking of children, it has been stated that one in six couples is either infertile or has extreme difficulty in conceiving; and the numbers are growing! In spite of the recent breakthrough in fertility treatment, I am told that about half of the couples who are seeking medical treatments still do not conceive. I question if the cause could it be more emotionally rooted than a physical situation? We know that infertility causes stress, depression and anxiety. But could it be possible that stress, depression, and anxiety could also inhibit conceiving? In my opinion, absolutely! In my years as a spiritual medium, medical intuitive, holistic naturopathic healer, nutrition specialist, energy worker and hypnotherapist, I have come into contact and worked with several fertility cases that were solved primarily with the use of my services. In some cases I worked mainly with past life regression and hypnotherapy to aid in the woman’s ability to overcome deep rooted emotional/sub-conscious obstacles so that she could conceive and not abort after the conception and in other cases I simply did energy work on the woman who was experiencing a pregnancy that was considered high risk to aid in her maintaining a sense of balance. A more detailed story of such a case can be found in my book, “Seeing it My Way... Stories of a Psychic”. My belief is that family oriented, infertile women are far more likely to be depressed than fertile women are. This condition should not be taken lightly. I feel it should be viewed as seriously as cancer, heart disease and AIDS. So far, I have been mentioning stress and its relationship to very serious diseases, but how about stress and the common cold? Had you put those two together? I recall reading an article in my travels about how British research has provided evidence that psychological stress can increase susceptibility to cold viruses. It stated that four-hundred men and women participated in a study after first undergoing a medical examination, blood testing and psychological questionnaires that contained questions such as the number of major stressful events in their lives over the past year (I.E. death in the family, job pressures, etc.) and their current level of negative feelings (I.E. sadness, irritations, etc.); then, all of the subjects were given nose drops. Some contained one of five cold viruses. Their blood was tested for cold virus anti-bodies and they were monitored for signs such as sneezing and stuffy-runny noses, sore throats and coughs. The researches found that those under stress were far more likely to become infected with the virus and develop the symptoms. Studies also indicate that small, everyday hassles and positive experiences influence your immune system. This is a great argument for relieving stress from the work environment! Just think of the increased quality of production that could occur from a simple thing like the fact that the work force is healthy and feeling good. It is not just your heart and your respiratory system that can be affected by stress. Stress can also raise havoc on your GI (gastro-intestinal) system. Many adults have irritable colon, spastic colon, spastic colitis or another type of functional bowl disease. Do you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and not know it? The symptoms of IBS (Irritable Bowl Syndrome) are: severe abdominal cramps, bloating, constipation alternating with diarrhea, pellet like stools and mucus in the stool or a sensation of incomplete emptying after a bowel movement. These symptoms may not be constant and may come and go. Although there are many factors that are believed to contribute to IBS, stress is a major consideration as was determined through several tests using psychotherapy and/or hypnosis. But it doesn’t stop there. Other gastro-intestinal disorders including Esophageal Reflux and Peptic ulcers, as well as skin disorders such as Psoriasis and eczema have been associated with stress. Disease equals dis-ease and it is around you all of the time. It is your immune system that determines whether or not to allow the dis-ease to enter you body, settle in, develop roots and then thrive. If your immune system is healthy, you can wander through a contaminated area without being infected. Keeping the effects of stress on your body down to a minimum is one way to help boost your immune system and maintain a healthy lifestyle.